UPDATE: tHIS IS A PICTURE THAT ONE OF MY COUSINS FRIENDS GAVE TO HIS MOTHER AND WIFE IN MEMORY OF HIM. i WAS SO SHOCKED TO FIND IT ON THE NET, AND i PUT IT HERE ...FOR BOTH ME AND FOR HIM.
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS, BEANIE



I just found out tonight that my cousin , Beanie, was shot defending his brother.
This was my Uncle's oldest son...and despite the fact that my uncle and his mother didn't even talk much, my uncle loved his son dearly. It hasnt sunk in yet that he is really dead...or maybe it has, and my years of working in a Hospice program have made me numb to grief...to death itself.

Right now, i am more afraid for my Mother, my Grandmother, and my sister.

I was the first in the house to find out.. a solem call from my other cousin, Marcus, made time stand still... I had to ask him 3 times who and what he said. OMG!!! I have to tell every one else tonight... how will I tell my sister? How will I tell my mother??? No one in my family canhandle death very well.

Well, obviously except for me.