i fantasize a whole lot
Not just about sexual things, but more about how the course of conversation would go between me and another person if they were in the car with me and we both allowed ourselves to speak openly about our feelings.
Last Night, I fantasy-spoke with Q.
I told him about how it feels like I am the only one trying to make this relationship work...about how, despite how busy I am, I can and do try to find time to at least call him and speak. I come see him more often than he comes to see me. I have been to his job AFTER WORK AND CLASSES OR BETWEEN CLASS so often that more people at his job know me by face and name than they do him! I told him that I no longer know what he wants...what I am to him...
I told him that, in all honesty, I feel like I am nothing but a sourse of sexual gratification for him...and that I had told him once before that if all he wants is a friend with "Benefits" to tell me. I told himm that, if he slept with someone else, or even thought about it, to tell me ahead of time. I told him that aI wanted us to be open and honest with one another.. meaning I an tell him about things that I have thought or felt or been tempted to do, and he can tell me the same. I asked him why the man I meet online isn't always the man I meet in-person...

I gotta go now.. tell you the rest later.